hmmmmmm
Where is my Tiger?
Isn't it funny that our "Monsters" are fed by our "Tigers"? The things we fear are fed by the things we ingest whether it is physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.
Learning to handle all those involved with Paul's care are not as scary as learning to deal with the numerous and frightening changes going on with Paul as he ages.
He is truly losing his mind. His memory is becoming more short term and circumstantial. The pathways to his long term memory in his brain are breaking apart and the synapses are having a difficult time connecting new or recent input to what has been long established. When he is tired he cannot even remember your face. The face that he has been seeing his whole life. (MY Monster)
His ability to walk and take care of himself is getting less and less. He is becoming dependent upon others and these others are poorly trained and change constantly. The one constant that Paul needs is consistent routine and familiar faces. So as he loses his ability to take care of himself and he can't remember new input everyone and everything around his routine is changing. (Paul's Monster)
His services handle things very administratively and when Paul's care is NOT administrative but interactive and personal they freak and everything loses focus and connection causing hiccups that affect Paul. (Our Monster)
No way around any of these Monsters. They cannot be touched but they affect each of us. We deal with them everyday and have for years.
Wish I had words of advice or wisdom to share on how best to deal with these and numerous other Monsters. I don't.
Only thing I can say is that once I realized there were "Monsters" I prayed and I continue to this day. Prayer keeps me from feeding my Monsters, aka my fears, and allows me to deal with what has to happen for Paul and his continued care even when communication isn't the best within the Guardians or the services.
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